I'm just asking, if you never get that waist, will your life have been a waste? (I see what I did there.) Every day we are bombarded with media, content, and products. I'm not saying you should give up on your dreams of having the body you want. But after trying to change so, so, so many times, I'm starting to realize it ain't me who needs to be different. I'm sure it's been a long time since Oprah's flown commercial, or since anyone's had the sack to roll their eyes in her face, but I'm sure she remembers, which is why I can't fault her for still wanting to change. But am I not entitled? To a seat? To civility?Īs people, we all run into your odd crank every now and again, but I have seen a fat person turn the most decorous individual into an eye-rolling, tongue-clicking social contract breaker simply by daring to try to occupy the assigned seat on her plane ticket. And I guess it's made me the kind of person who would just stand on a 90-minute train commute every day rather than insinuate myself into an empty seat between two strangers who might sigh as they bring their own thighs marginally closer to make way for the entitled fat monster. These are just two of two million incidents where someone tried to make me feel small because I was bigger. I never have been.Īt my pre-kindergarten physical my pediatrician asked me, "Do you like to eat?" and when I guilelessly said yes, he told me, "Well, you should like it less." In college, I was probably the thinnest I'd ever been in my life, and when I got up the nerve to tell an older classmate who ran with my group of friends that I didn't like it when he gave me unsolicited shoulder massages, especially in front of my boyfriend, he said, "Maybe you're just angry because your thighs are so huge." In front of my boyfriend. I have wanted to be the girl who could playfully sit on a friend's lap, or be carried across a threshold on my wedding night. And that sucks.īut it is also incredibly freeing if you, like me, have thought about your weight so many times throughout every day of your life that it becomes as maddening and distracting as if you'd stowed a beating telltale heart beneath your floorboards.Įver since I wasn't little, I have thought about how much space I am taking up in the world as many times per day as men supposedly think about sex. If Oprah can't buy permanent lifelong weight loss, maybe it can't be bought. So if Oprah can't do permanent lifelong weight loss, maybe it can't be done. She creates magic for other people and herself on the regular. She has an Oscar to keep all her Emmy Awards company. My epiphany was this: Oprah is one of the most accomplished, admired, able people in the world. And Oprah has said she regrets that moment, which is probably why she never did it again either, even though we've watched her drop, then regain, a few more wagonloads over the years. Then when it crept back on, just like it did with Oprah, I was glad I never did that. Lord knows I have considered dragging a wagon of fat around to celebrate the three or four times I have lost 60 pounds. I have put on my sneakers and jogged down this road with Oprah before! I cried with joy for her back in 1988 when she dragged a wagon of fat onstage, to represent the 67 pounds she'd lost on a liquid diet. If Oprah can't do permanent lifelong weight loss, maybe it can't be doneīut by the ninth or 10th time I heard Oprah talk about how we're gonna go on this weight loss journey together, I had an epiphany. That amount of money will be heavy, and if she binds it together, she can use it to weigh down stacks of her other money so none of it blows away when she opens a window in one of her many beautiful homes. I think she has earned every ounce of success she enjoys, so I am glad for her that she made $70 million on the first day of her deal with Weight Watchers. Hell, I'm wearing a bra she recommended on her "Favorite Things" episode in 2003. Since my tweens, I've admired how she's made celebrities seem like regular people and turned regular people into celebrities. And I have my doubts that there's a better, happier, more acceptable woman inside of Oprah either. If this were true, it would totally explain why overweight women are overweight we have a whole extra woman inside of us! But I don't think it is true, because I believe that inside me is just more me. Now she's appearing in ads where she tells us that "inside every overweight woman is the woman she knows she can be." Last October Oprah bought a 10 percent stake in the company and joined its board. Oprah's Weight Watchers commercials are everywhere.
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